There are retreats all over the world where you actually pay for the pleasure of dropping your normal existence – it’s just that usually there are massages and fitness classes, plus you don’t have to cook every meal yourself. Details, details. To adapt to the current lockdown situation, I’ve decided that I am not self-isolating; I haven’t lost my freedom, I’m simply self-retreating. Retreating is something I’m good at, something I love even: hibernating, disconnecting and diving into my inner world. Admittedly I don’t usually do it with my three children. In fact, over the past 20 years I’ve found myself completely alone in some of the world’s most exquisite spas and wellness centres, including the environs of Vana in India, Thailand’s phenomenal Kamalaya, and most recently at the UK’s own Grayshott, in Surrey.
And so I’ve asked spa experts from around the world about what we can do to uplift ourselves during this time at home, focusing on our sensory experiences, those physical processes that help define how we interpret and perceive the world. Because the real key to our survival lies in our ability to adapt. We may feel that the current global situation is out of our control, but we always have a choice in how we react.
Tune into your senses – 5 things we can do during lockdown:
Be aware that what you look at will have a direct effect on your mood and emotions. Limit how much you tune into the news, interact with social media or watch stress-inducing films. Instead, immerse yourself as much as possible in the positive: old photographs of loved ones and beloved places, online interactions where you can actually see another human face, and best of all, if you can, immerse yourself in the greatest healer of all, Mother Nature. The ground beneath your feet, the sky above your head. Try to get outside for at least half an hour each day. When you least feel like doing it is when you need it most. Catch beauty where you can – it will send cascades of soothing neurochemicals throughout your body.
As Marina Efraimoglou, owner of destination spa Euphoria Retreat in Greece, says: ‘This is a call back to what is essential in our lives. To connect with ourselves, with our loved ones, with nature and with natural rhythms. We need to try to adopt a simpler lifestyle, allowing time and energy for what makes us happier and authentic to our true nature. We need to heal ourselves in order to heal our world.’ This view is echoed across the board. Sandeep Agarwalla, head of yoga at Ananda in the Himalayas, confirms, ‘We need to learn to respect nature and other creatures. The over-consumption by humans is wreaking havoc on the delicate balance of life on earth. Nature reigns supreme, and we have to respect and adhere to that. Nature knows how to establish the balance.’ So perhaps consider looking to nature for some of the answers.
Firstly, take time to listen to the silence. As Sofia Gouveia, director of operations at Longevity in Portugal, says: ‘Many cultures experience the benefits of a silent practice in their daily tasks, or through meditation. It is believed that only through this state can you find stillness of thoughts and acceptance. Nowadays, we talk more, and we hear less. Take this opportunity to focus on your breathing and hear the silence around you for at least 15 minutes per day.’ For guided meditation and pranayama exercises to relax your central nervous system, take a look at Kamalaya’s wonderful selection of live-streamed videos, bathed in the sort of tropical beauty that completely transports you. As one of the spa’s masters, Sujay Seshadri, explains: ‘Some of us have to learn to be a bit quieter or connect with our emotions.’ His gentleness and wisdom will uplift you on a dreary day. And – the polar opposite to silence – also make time to listen to music, a valuable therapeutic tool. In fact, there is a large body of medical evidence that points to the benefits of music therapy.
So make a lockdown playlist for a friend, or turn up the volume and dance around – physical movement helps to shift tension. Fred Tsao, founder of China’s Sangha Retreat, recommends listening to ‘#9 Dream’ by John Lennon, to which I’m now a bit addicted. Also check out an old favourite of mine, Soul Medicine – this is sound healing at its best, each track proven by doctors to reduce stress, boost resilience and calm the mind. If you find meditation difficult, this is for you. All you have to do is listen. We should also never forget the importance of listening to each other. The need to connect at a deeper level is one of the important lessons of these times.
Described by Daniel Goleman in his book on emotional intelligence as ‘the most ancient root of our emotional life’, smell is far more powerful and primal than you might think. According to scientists, 75 per cent of our emotions are generated by what we smell. Scents can transport us back in time, lift us, soothe us, carry us into feeling and shift our mental state. Of all the senses, smell is the only one that travels directly into the limbic part of the brain which ‘talks’ symbiotically to the heart and plays a major role in controlling behaviour, emotion, mood and memory. So, stay conscious when it comes to smell.
Burn a delicious candle. I love the handmade ones by small UK business Cotswold Candle Co, which is still delivering and also sells make-your-own-kits. You can also use an essential-oil diffuser, or add the oils to a warm bath. Rose is one of my favourites – it opens the heart and calms the most sensitive and sacred parts of the self. Try Neal’s Yard Remedies for a wide range of oils. And if you are looking for that all-essential handwash, sanitiser or gel, try Ila which has just launched all-natural, alcohol-free versions containing antibacterial and antiseptic thyme, tea tree and oregano oils – they smell like just like a herb garden.
Rather than being a place for gorging, retreats offer an opportunity to eat more mindfully and slowly, preferably only when hungry and not as a plaster to emotions. Wholesome, homemade food that tastes good (less meat, less dairy, less sugar) – that’s what we should be aiming for now. I’m finding cooking to be one of the most grounding and uplifting pursuits of lockdown and have never been more grateful for freshness and greenness. Stephanie Moore, the head nutritionist at Grayshott, advocates mixing things up for breakfast rather than eating the same thing every single day. Try live yogurt with fruit and nuts, interesting porridges (made with plant milks and cinnamon to balance blood sugar), or eggs with avocado, asparagus or spinach.
Because so many medi-clinics I’ve visited have encouraged ‘no raw after four’, I try to cram in the freshness at midday, and opt for a zingy salad at lunch, with lots of chopped-up vegetables, herbs and, if I’m especially hungry (which I am every day) bulked out with feta, goat’s cheese or halloumi. Good supper choices include soup, or a quality protein with simple warmed puréed vegetables – all easy to digest. When I visited MasQi in Spain, the owner Sonia told me, ‘When we eat something, we embody its spirit.’ So, for example, if you need to stand firm and strong, a steak might be a good idea. If you want lightness in your aloneness, white fish is the answer. If you want to move forward as part of a group, go for sardines, and if you feel the need to persevere, remember that salmon swim upstream to lay their eggs back in the place where they were born. That’s persistence. It tastes good.
The joy of experiencing this journey with my children is that I’ve never felt closer to them. Sometimes I find they even listen to me. Or flop into my space simply because they want a hug. And I’ve never felt more grateful for that embrace, as I know not everybody is getting them. Hugs release oxytocin, sometimes known as the ‘happy’ or ‘cuddle’ hormone – they lower anxiety, reduce stress and help to make us feel good. The firmer and deeper the hug, the more effective. Twenty seconds is the minimum for releasing oxytocin.
But if you’ve got no one to hug? Don’t despair, this is a time for true self-nurture and care. Dr Issac Mathai, director of residential medical institute Soukya in Bangalore, India, suggests a daily self-massage with sesame oil. This oil is one of the secret gems of Ayurveda – it’s inexpensive, warming, pacifying, hydrating and full of vitamins, minerals and nutrients that soak into your body through your skin and hair. It’s also good for your bones, which means you can forgive the rather abrasive smell – add a few drops of lavender or rose oil should you wish. Massage all over with loving intent, and leave on overnight (one of my favourite brands for sesame oil is Naissance). For guidance on acupressure points for self-massage, body-awakening exercises and pressure points to release tension (and more), see Chiva-Som’s Wellness Knowledge video, to bring the experts into your living room.